omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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