She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
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