She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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