Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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