Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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