well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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