We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
