Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
