sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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