How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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