WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i out mim tonsoeep
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