Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
