Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
