Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
