My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
