awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Are my feet made of real feet?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We're too hungover to prance.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
