I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
