3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
