My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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