don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
