p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
