Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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