Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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