I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
