Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
