he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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