I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
did you just send me my own nude
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
