I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
