he puts the penis in happiness.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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