I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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