This is not my ceiling
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
