Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
