guys are not supposed to queef...right?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
