TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
