i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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