i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
