i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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