I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
