Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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