i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
