After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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