O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
