I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
