i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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