you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
