how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
