I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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