i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
