I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
