Ambien. No doubt about it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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