butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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